Photographer’s Scandalous 3D-Printed Pinhole Lens Is Extremely Phallic
friend of PetaPixel and photographer Tom Calton 3D-printed his own lens, and it is unlike anything photographers have seen before, probably with very good reason.
Content Warning: This article concerns a 3D-printed lens that some readers may find inappropriate.
“Over the last month, I’ve been developing a groundbreaking piece of photography tech that I think could take the world by storm,” Calton explains. “But don’t just take my word for it, I also rounded up some of the greatest minds in the photography YouTube space to gather their feedback and the response really did blow me away.”
Some of these photographers Calton solicited feedback from include PetaPixel‘s Chris Niccolls and Jordan Drake, alongside familiar faces like Gordon Laing of Cameralabs.
The “groundbreaking” tech is a 3D-printed lens, which Calton “can’t legally show” in his new YouTube video thumbnail due to its phallic design. Fittingly, the creation is dubbed the “PEEN-Hole Lens.”
Although jokingly named and shaped like a penis, creating a 3D-printed lens from scratch is no easy feat. It required Calton to learn how to use a 3D printer, in this case, one from Elegoo, and figure out how to do 3D modeling using Blender. As a lens-making novice, Calton used an existing design to create something new: the Precision Engineered Exposure Nozzle Hole Lens, or, “PEEN-Hole.”
“This lens has been ergonomically designed from the ground up to provide optimum performance and maximum rigidity,” Calton explains. “The shaft has a solid five-millimeter thickness for maximum structural support, and the patented bell-shaped tip has not only been hardened to provide optimum impact resistance but it also has a secondary function, which will be revealed a little later on.”
Calton also makes special note of the section near the lens mount, which has a striking resemblance to a specific part of the male anatomy.
“If you cup this section — carefully, mind — it offers additional support and maximum comfort while shooting a load of photos,” Calton says.
With his prototype designed and printed and his marketing pitch nailed down, it was time to put the PEEN-Hole pinhole lens into the hands of photographers.
“Do you have a smaller model? I don’t know, Tom,” says Chris Niccolls. “You know, I’m not confident when it’s staring you right in the face, it’s a little bit… is one ball bigger than the other?”
“The term ‘game-changer’ is thrown about on a lot of products, but this truly represents that,” says Gordon Laing.
But not all photographers were interested.
“No, Tom, I told you, I don’t want to talk about your shorn, hard, girthy, body cap,” says Jordan Drake.
The PEEN-Hole pinhole lens is not the sharpest, not by a long shot, but it technically works. Like any pinhole lens, it can capture photos — but with limitations.
“Considering that this is just a lump of plastic molded by the hands of a total moron, I was acutally fairly pleased with the end results it could capture,” Calton concludes.
“Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s safe to say Sigma won’t be pushing the panic button once they see this puppy hitting the shelves, but still, it certainly produces an image with a certain nostalgic charm. Or should I say, ‘Nostaldick?'”
Should someone want to 3D print a penis-shaped pinhole lens of their own, Calton published the required 3D files online, free for others to use and adapt to their heart’s content. It could make for a great gag gift for any tasteless photographers in your lives.
Image credits: Tom Calton
