When I was a little girl, I lived in Incirlik AFB, Turkey. We lived for a year off base on the third floor of a very large apartment building. My parents spoke no Turkish and the landlady spoke no English, but somehow, they managed just fine.
Dear Entitled, I came across a screenshot of your “I have started a photography business” post in a “Classifieds” Facebook group.
I don’t mean to step on any toes, but... deep breath... here we go…
I am starting a rescue effort. It has nothing to do with dogs, cats, or dolphins caught in tuna nets. I’m not trying to salvage old buildings nor save the environment. I still use plastic straws, people. I admit it. What I am rescuing is old photos.
I received a letter from Costco that the location I frequent for my 8 pounds of ground beef and jumbo bottle of vodka is closing their photo department. Why? Because in spite of more pictures being taken now than in any time in the history of photography, people are simply not printing their snapshots and, because of this rapid decline in printing volume, it makes no financial sense to keep the photo department open.
100 years from now, no one is going to care who I am. I know this. I don’t mean that in a bad way and I don’t say it in the hopes someone will contradict me and shower me with praise; this is not said as compliment bait.
Saw an ad for a “Styled (Wedding) Shoots Conference.” For those of you unfamiliar with the styled shoots, it’s where models play fake brides who fake marry models playing fake grooms at a fake wedding filled with fake guests and then cut a wedding cake at a fake styled reception while photographers who have paid to photograph the fake-ness happily snap away at the event and then post all the styled fakery in their portfolio as samples of “their work.”
My mom was a florist. She used to say you can always tell a florist by their thumb. Each floral stalk must be cut prior to refrigeration and cut again when incorporated into a design, so if the inside of the thumb is rough and slightly discolored, with tiny slices lining the soft padding, like a hundred tiny paper cuts, you’re talking to a florist.
She came in for her senior session. Her hair was a mess of tangled waves, unruly and uncooperative. Her face was covered with freckles and dotted with acne. She wasn’t model proportions and the clothing she wore required careful adjustment to keep it from bunching up in places.
I see the posts. You see them, too. A session gone wrong because a photographer didn’t know want to do. And they didn’t know what to do because they hadn’t yet acquired the skills necessary to do that thing they were hired to do. They said “yes” before they knew what they were doing.
Imagine, if you will, that the photography industry is a very large swimming pool. Not one of those backyard models, but rather an Olympic sized pool. And this very large pool is filled with photographers. However, we will call them swimmers, as that’s how analogies work.
A historic building in South Florida burned to the ground recently because in the dark of night, a trio of photographers set it ablaze while trying to “paint with light.”
Dear Portrait Photographers,
Two pixels on a hard drive were having a conversation. Here's how it went...
Dear Vogue,
I just read your January 6, 2016 article on “The 10 Wedding Rules to Break.”
When my children were little they would collect things in their pockets. They were little pack rats; the kid version of hoarders. Anything that caught their eye would go into their pocket for safe keeping: a colorful leaf; a Skittle, a Happy Meal toy. And, like most moms, I would have to carefully search their pockets before putting their dirty clothes into the wash.
But, now and then, I would miss something, like the time I missed the rock.
I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. I have no idea how to wear a scarf without looking like it’s 1974 and I am constantly changing my online passwords because I can’t remember them. I am not skilled at statistics and conducting a simple cost analysis makes me break out in hives. But… I think about things. A lot.
And one of the things I’ve been thinking about recently is why photographers stopped selling paper prints. And I have a theory.
I am often asked for advice by those starting out in the photography industry. And if there’s one thing I have no shortage of, it’s advice. So with that in mind, I present you with my 8 Tips for Starting a Photography Business.
The photo above shows me without makeup. Look how purple and shiny I am SOOL (Straight Out of Laptop).
I am at my cabin sitting at my laptop. I just showered, dried my hair, threw on a sweater and sat down to write this article. You will notice that I worked to get those light flares over my head and behind it. If you didn’t notice that, I invite you to notice it now. Take that, JJ Abrams.
Here's a list of 23 things you'll (probably) never hear coming out of a professional photographer's mouth.
Here's a look at what goes on in a photographer's brain leading up to an outdoor photo shoot -- or my head, at least.
My friend Joanne received the above inquiry via her website and sent it my way for help in responding. The following is my suggestion.
Dear Canon and Nikon,
Last November, a spacecraft which had traveled 6.4 billion miles over ten years successfully landed on a comet. A COMET. This means we can now do ANYTHING, which is why I am writing you today with a list of suggestions, nay, improvements that I hope you will consider implementing in future DSLRs.
I was in kindergarten when this photo was taken.
It was the night of my first ballet recital. First and last, actually. I decided I didn’t have the patience for ballet, nor ballet for me. The photo was taken right before we headed out the door to a ballet performance on par with a train wreck.
Passion won’t keep you in business.
There, I said it. I’m sorry, but it had to be said. #sorrynotsorry
Here's something random and lighthearted: photography satirist Missy Mwac put together a set of meme images showing what she thinks Disney princesses would be like if they were photographers.
Photography satirist Missy Mwac of the web series MWACattack (whose tongue-in-cheek advice videos made the rounds last year) created this monopoly board that imagines what the board game would be like if it had originally been designed to reflect the life journey of photographers.