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You Have Two Cows: Photographers’ Edition

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youhavetwocows

Invisible Photographer Asia just posted this humorous graphic that takes the “You have two cows” idea for political satire and applies it to how different types of photographers work.

Here are the lines they came up with in text form:

  • Photojournalists: You have two cows. Photojournalists will wait till your neighbour kills one of the cows before they take a picture.
  • Street photographers: You have two cows. Street photographers will wait till the cows mate and produce more cows to layer the frame before they take a picture.
  • Wedding photographers: You have two cows. Wedding photographers will take a picture just before the cows mate.
  • Salon photographers: You have two cows. Salon photographers will wait till the sun sets behind the cows before they take a picture.
  • Conceptual photographers: You have two cows. Conceptual photographers will wait till nature calls and take a picture of the cows’ dung.
  • Instagram photographers: You have two cows. Instagram photographers will wait till your neighbour makes steak from the cow he killed before they take a picture.
  • Commercial photographers: You have two cows. Commercial photographers will wait for the budget before they even look at the cows.
  • Fashion photographers: You have two cows. Fashion photographers will recommend two horses instead because the cows are too fat.

Can you think of any new ones? Leave them as comments below, and we may add good/clever/funny ones to this post.

(via Invisible Photographer Asia via Bokeh)


P.S. If you’ve never heard of “You have two cows” before, here’s a classic example of it being used to describe political systems:

Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.
Communism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then sells you some milk.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
New Dealism: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, buys milk from the other cow, then pours the milk down the drain.

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