Bodybuilders and National Doughnut Day
(Today is National Doughnut Day. I am of the opinion it should be a National Holiday, but other people in my studio don’t share the belief. They would be wrong.)
(The DH stands for “darling husband,” although in light of the following conversation that took place upon entering the studio this morning, I am doing away with that adjective.)
DH: “Hey, last minute change this afternoon. Got a shoot for two bodybuilders, so I need your help.”
DH: “Yeah. A husband and wife team.”
Me: “Today?”
DH: “Yeah, this afternoon.”
Me: “TODAY?”
DH: “Did I stutter?”
Me: “Does it HAVE to be today?”
DH: “Yes…what’s the big deal?
Me: “It’s National Doughnut Day.”
DH: “There’s really such a thing?”
Me: “Oh, I assure you, it’s very real. I’ve already stopped by Dunkin’ Donuts and Krispy Kreme on my way down here. They are giving away FREE doughnuts! FREE!”
DH: “Yeah, about that…you’ve got some powdered sugar on your shirt.”
Me: (brushing off the sugar) “Why did a session involving two bodybuilders get scheduled on National Doughnut Day?”
DH: “I wasn’t aware this was some kind of national holiday. Are the banks closed? Are we not getting mail?”
Me: “This is NOT funny. How on earth am I going to be able to fully enjoy and appreciate National Doughnut Day when I’m photographing body builders? Does no one think in this studio?”
DH: “I really think you’re making a lot out of this.”
Me: “I wore my Mexican Food clothes today. I sacrificed fashion for expandable black stretchy pants and a long shirt just to accommodate the doughnuts that are part of today’s celebration.”
DH: “So?”
Me: “So? SO? So, this means that for the next couple of hours I am going to be photographing two people who are at the height of physical fitness with well-defined abs and sculpted arms and legs who probably eat things like wheat grass and protein powder in well-measured proportions. Their skin will be all glisteny and oiled. He’ll probably be in a tiny Speedo and she’ll be in a bikini and I’ll be here in my Mexican Food clothes.”
DH: “That still have powdered sugar on them.”
Me: <glare>
DH: “Listen, if it makes you feel bad, then don’t eat the doughnuts.”
Me: “But I bought a dozen.”
DH: “A dozen? Cheri, who is going to eat all these?”
Me: “Me? Mexican Food Clothes? Hello? McFly? Have you not been listening? All I wanted to do is sit and eat my lovely doughnuts and drink coffee and not think about the sugar and the fat and the carbs, but now, I will be forced to think of every single calorie. With every snap of shutter I will be reminded of how these are not good for me. This is the mental equivalent of duct taping the doughnuts directly to my thighs. How can I not think about it? This is terrible. No, I’m wrong. As Dorothy Parker would say, ‘This isn’t just terrible; this is fancy terrible. This is terrible with raisins in it.'”
DH: “AND powdered sugar.”
Me: “Thanks for ruining National Doughnut Day for me.”
Image credit: Chocolate Dipped Mini Doughnuts for Independence Day by heylovedesigns
