tongueincheek

The Photographer’s Guide To Choosing the Right Bio Picture

Photographers are a narcissistic breed. Not me, of course, but my colleagues are. We’ve got profiles on dozens of websites and we must tell the world what we are doing at our jobs every day and in real-time -- we just have to. It’s compulsory.

The Nikon: Perfection in a Camera

The Nikon. Why do I use The Nikon? The only real answer is that if you don't already know, I can't explain it, you just have to do it yourself. But I'll try.

Generic Instagram Shots… Done Badly

For his bachelor thesis project, titled "notwinstagram," German artist Daniel Reuber decided to flip Instagram fads on their head. Instead of creating picture-perfect Instagram shots that show (or fake) a wonderful life, Reuber decided to show what those same shots would look like for someone with a very sad life.

43 Amateurish Tips for Shooting Better Images

Get to know people, forget the rules, don't read books on composition, embrace imperfection, print your photos, and more... Here are 43 amateurish tips for capturing better images.

Photographer, 36, WLTM New Long-Term Partner….

Although so far the stories of Flickr's death have been greatly exaggerated, there's no denying the photo-hosting leviathan is in a difficult situation. At best, it will be taken over by a company content to keep things ticking over and just claim the subscription fees, but I'm guessing that it will change.

Excerpts from Uncle Bob’s Wedding Photo Blog

We all know Uncle Bob: the man, the myth, the photobombing, shot-blocking, wedding-wrecking legend! Turns out, when he purchased his first digital camera back in 2001, he also launched a blog!

For your enjoyment and inspiration, here are a few excerpts from the personal blog of Uncle Bob, Uncle Bob’s Camera.

Hipster Barbie Pokes Fun at Artsy Instagram Photos

There's a new rising star on Instagram. A clever account called Socality Barbie is attracting quite a bit of attention for posting satirical hipster Instagram photos featuring a fashion forward Barbie. If you've ever browsed through artsy, hipster Instagram photos, you'll likely recognize many of the generic shots being referenced.

Dear Canon and Nikon, I Have Some Suggestions

Dear Canon and Nikon,

Last November, a spacecraft which had traveled 6.4 billion miles over ten years successfully landed on a comet. A COMET. This means we can now do ANYTHING, which is why I am writing you today with a list of suggestions, nay, improvements that I hope you will consider implementing in future DSLRs.

‘Exposure’ Now Legal Tender For Photographers

A change in the law will allow photographers to pay rent on their homes and studios with ‘exposure’ instead of money. They will also be able to buy coffee, shampoo, and other essentials by mentioning to the checkout assistant that they did a big job last week for nothing and are hoping it will bring them some paying clients.

Satire: Disgruntled Pixel Peepers Say Canon 5DS Still Not Enough

MELVILLE, N.Y., March 26, 2015 – A 37-year-old man has criticized Canon’s latest DSLR, the 5DS, for not having enough pixels, even though it has more pixels than any other DSLR in history and has not even been released yet.

The Real Meanings of Common Photographic Words and Expressions

We photographers do love our catch-phrases, but what do they all mean? Here’s my not-so-serious and very tongue-in-cheek rundown of some of the more commonly used terms and their meanings. And yes, I’m as guilty as the next guy:

Dear Bridezilla: A Letter From Your Photographer

Author's note: Warning: I wrote this last night when I was sleepless, sick and snarky.

Dear Bridezilla,

It was great to meet you yesterday! I still can not believe that 6 photographers you have spoken to said they may not be the "right fit" for you! I thought you, your mother, future mother in law, and 12 bridesmaids were lovely! It was so cute that your Uncle Joe came along to take some photos of our meeting for your scrapbook. I sure hope he brings his iPad to the wedding just in case I miss something.

This Just In: Peter Lik’s Record-Breaking Photo Sale May Constitute Torture

(Newswire, December 13th, Las Vegas) -- A group of leading photographers, curators, and general taste arbiters has determined that Peter Lik's sale of a photograph may constitute torture under the Geneva conventions.

The photograph in question, an open edition of a mundane Southwestern landscape, sold recently for $6.5 million, the largest figure for a photograph in history.

It’s All In The Name…

Recently, during a period of extreme self-examination (this is pretty much that time of year -- is it not?), I set about tackling the age-old question... why ain't I famous yet? Why am I not in every gallery, museum and private photography collection -- when I so obviously deserve to be?

So I set about examining this age-old mystery, dissecting every possible raison de jour. Boundless talent -- check; unrivaled originality -- check; sheer, unbridled charisma -- check, check and check! Stumped as I was, this time I pushed forward -- this time, there would be no rest or retreat until I broke through the bonds that would unleash me from my ill-begotten anonymity...

How to Save Big Money by Not Hiring a Professional Wedding Photographer

What if I told that you could get wedding photos at a fraction of the cost that professionals will charge you, would you be interested in that? I bet you would because there are a heck of a lot of people out there that think wedding photographers are way too expensive, charging you thousands of dollars just for a few pictures.

Satire: Work for Free and Eat!

Hey, professional and aspiring photographers! Are you tired of responding to attractive assignment offers only to find later that compensation for the work consists only of "valuable exposure" for your work? And then you have to explain that you can't feed your family on exposure?

Well fret no more. with the new Exposure Helper™, you can feed your family on exposure, allowing you to accept all the free assignments you want!

A Photography Biz in a Box

I feel stupid. I admit I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. I have to use my index finger when figuring out clockwise vs. counter-clockwise; it wasn't until recently I found out that capers are the buds of a flower and not teeny tiny olives; and I made it all the way to my sophomore year in high school before discovering the name of the book is "Catcher in the Rye" and not "Catch HER in the Rye."

A Roundup of April Fools’ 2013 Jokes in the World of Photography

April Fools' Day: the beautiful (or painful) day of the year on which the Internet is teeming with fabricated stories designed to fool and humor. We used to participate in the jokes and cover the silliness, but last year we started doing a single roundup post instead to keep you up to speed on April Fools' Day humor in the world of photography.