Photo Printer and Metallic Paper Giveaway

Update: This giveaway is now over. The winner was selected and announced below.

Howdy friends. It’s time for another PetaPixel giveaway. This week we’re giving away a printing set with the following items: a Canon PIXMA iP4700 inkjet printer, 50 sheets of Silver Metallic paper by Red River Paper, and a $100 gift certificate to Red River Paper! The combined value of these prizes is about $250.

To enter, all you need to do is:

Tell us your favorite joke or one-liner

There are two ways to enter, and doing both methods will give you 2 entries in the contest, and thus double the chance the win!

  1. Leave your response as a comment
  2. Tweet your response, and include the following link to this post anywhere in the tweet:

    As long as the link appears in the post, you’ll be automatically entered in the contest.

This contest will end Friday May 21st, 2010. We’ll randomly pick a winner using and update this post. Good luck!

Update: This giveaway has ended. We received 184 comments and 98 tweets. Though we’ll count all the comments as entries, we will verify that the winner followed the rules and did not have an unfair advantage.

The randomly selected winner of the printer, paper, and gift certificate is…

#34: atom714

Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.

Congratulations! Please email [email protected] to claim your prize.

Thanks to everyone who entered and shared your hilarious jokes with us!

A big thanks to Red River Paper for providing the prizes for this giveaway!

  • jozjozjoz

    What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?


  • Duane Tate

    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

  • StuartC

    I went to the gym and asked to join a yoga class. The instructor said, “How flexible are you?”. I said, “I can't make Tuesdays”.

  • delzey

    how many buddhist monks does it take to change a light bulb?

    none, change comes from within.

  • idesignstuff

    What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing! He can't come anyway.

  • frazgo

    What does one hockey player say to the other? Lets get the puck outta here.

  • Diana

    Light travels faster than sound
    This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

  • Josh

    I want metallic paper!

  • Michelle Burroughs

    ¿Qué hace un pez? Nada! :D

  • marcus_r

    I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

  • Daniel

    What did the bee say to the sushi chef? (Ans. Wassabi)

  • lafleur6

    Me and my 2 brothers were getting ready for supper. Mother had told father that we embarrassed her at church Sunday with our bad language and insisted on Dad do something. So he agreed at dinner he would address the issue with us.

    Mother sat down a nice big chicken with sides for the family to enjoy. Dad said, “Jim whatcha want on your plate” “Jim said,”I take some of that damn chicken” And without missing a step..SLAP, right on the floor my brother went.

    Dad looks at Steve and says,”Son whatcha want on your plate” Steve said, “I agree with Jim, that chicken looks pretty fu$%in good, put some of that s$%t on my plate” Then without blinking an eye, SLAP, down to the floor went Steve.
    Dad looked at me and said, “David whatcha want to eat son” I said, “You can bet your sweet ass I dont want none of that damn chicken”:-)

  • Nicholas C

    I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

  • Patrick Minton

    A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

    Ba dum tsh.

  • ilianaki94

    A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made the daily trek to the elementary school. As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother was worried that her daughter would be frightened walking back home from school, and she herself feared the electrical storm might cause her harm. Following each roar of the thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword. Being very concerned, the mother got into her car and drove along the route to the school. Soon she saw her small child walking along. The thunder would boom, and then, at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look and smile. One followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking up at the streak of light and smiling. Finally, the mother called out and asked, “Honey, what are you doing?” Her little girl answered, “God keeps taking pictures of me!”

  • DavidNagy

    Guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables. Bartender eyes him and says, “OK, you can come in, but don't start anything.”

  • Sandra

    What do you call 100 lawyers lying dead at the bottom of the ocean?
    A good start!

  • Bernadette

    What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

    Dr. Dre!

  • Karen Knapper

    As incredibly childish as it may be, I'm a huge fan of the Deez Nuts game. Does that count?

  • A. Shankle

    How do you drown a dumb blonde? Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

  • Bob

    How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?


  • Neil Lall

    why are pirate jokes so funny? they just arrrrrrrrrrrrr!

  • Jessica

    What's better than roses on a piano?
    Tulips on an organ

  • Jessica

    What do you call cheese that isn't your cheese?

    Nacho cheese

  • Kelly

    You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. -Dorothy Parker.

  • Jen Niemi

    If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

  • Nathan

    That's what she said! ZING.

  • Dan Holmes

    What's black and white and red all over?

    Mimes in a chainsaw fight.

  • Christine Crain

    Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
    The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For Pete's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!”

  • Cyran Dorman

    What do you give an angry rodent for Christmas? A cross mouse card.

  • Scott Shoemaker

    Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?

    If it had 4 doors it would be a sedan!

  • Bythewei

    A match hit his head and went to hospital.

    He became a cotton bud.

  • Rob

    A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “make me one with everything”

  • Luftmensch

    René Descartes walked into a diner and took a seat at the bar. The waitress came to him and asked, “can I get you some coffee?”
    “I think not,” replied Descartes, and disappeared.

  • Lennartb

    Komt een man bij de dokter, zegt de dokter: “Ik zie het al, uit de kom!”

  • Acidripp

    Q: Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant?
    A: Because Ken comes in a box.

  • Ian Campbell

    A guy calls tech support “My computer can't find my printer!”
    Tech support responds “Are you working under windows?”
    The guy replies “No I'm near the door; the woman in the next cubical is working under a window and her printer works fine.”

  • aravindh

    Im in

  • aravindh

    im in,.. im nn,… im innnnnn,…

  • Jennifer Lyn Bingale

    ok don't know if this worked the first time…. so….

  • aravindh

    Holy F@k'n shit,…
    SO fast SO many ,… reply's from all,…
    can any one say y,…??

    Coze its frrrreeeeee,…

  • Oliver

    this has been happening to me lately:
    I show up late for work.
    My boss yells at me “You should have been here at 7:00!”
    “Why? What happened at 7:00 ?!”

  • Graeme

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Interrupting cow.
    Interrupting co–

  • aravindh

    How dose its really gona favour u while some one, some where keeps retweet'n / by replying in ur blog spot

  • Ritesh

    It doesn't matter whether you win or lose.
    Until you lose.

  • Matt Lyons

    Is that a zoom lens in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

  • Ryan Parkins

    Sign: Stationary Store Moved

  • Julia Lutgendorf

    Here's a bad pun that took me forever to “get.”

    Two men walk into a bar.
    The third one ducks.

  • YK

    Favourite 1-liner:

    The 3 Rings Of Marriage: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring & Suffering

  • lcts0703

    A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a chapstick. The pharmacist hands it to him and the duck says “Can you put this on my bill?”